It is the end of an era; and with the end has come two very distinct facts: I am old and I am overly attached to inanimate objects.
My 30th birthday is only a month and a half away and as that mile marker looms I can’t help but reflect on my past and my present (as the super hero Worst Case Scenario Girl I try to not think about the future because I will invent nothing but issues and worry for myself.) In my senior year of college I sat down and wrote a list of what I wanted to accomplish, a bucket list of sorts. It had a variety of items on it with varying degrees of seriousness anywhere from having a child to owning a book case that’s filled. I can’t find the list but I remember the important ones that held the most weight. I accomplished them, yet somehow I still feel like something is not complete.
30-years-old seems to be ancient to a child, but is considered a baby to an octogenarian. There are days where I feel like I have peaked and then there are days where I think, God willing, I still have so many years left in life to accomplish a new list, one that has more mature hurdles than my last one.
Tonight I will write that new list, but this piece will be my last piece that I will write on this laptop. The laptop I bought myself after I obtained my BA and went into the world wide-eyed and ready to take on life. As a journalist I wrote countless articles on this laptop, some of which led me to win first place in my state for investigative reporting. I have spent countless hours punching these keys to write books that no one will ever read because they are more of a diary than a book; a main character having identical issues that I was struggling with but didn’t know how to handle in real life. When I write it is an escape. I couldn’t handle the stress and pressures of certain events, but Shya in a book was a force to be reckoned with and she had the confidence to tackle whatever was whipped her way.
I have cried on these keys as I spent sleepless nights praying for my anxiety to ease up, and finding solace in the sound of the keys tapping. My space bar has a worn out spot, there are scratches and marks on the cover, and the ALT key on the left side sticks. A fully charged battery only lasts twenty minutes before my computer starts yelling at me to feed it more power. I feel you battery, I get tired after doing anything for 20 minutes, too.
The technology and options today with computers, laptops, and tablets are insane. My niece has one that is a detachable tablet and it folds three different ways depending upon what task she has to accomplish. When I realized this laptop was reaching its end I started to look for a new one and went to our local, big-chain electronics store. The salesman that helped me asked what I was looking for. Touch screen? Detachable? Battery life of 30,000 hours?
I just want to write, I told him.
He showed me one that is great for writing because you can drop and drag sections and this and that and all kinds of fancy movements. No. I want to write, with a real keyboard, and I need Internet. That’s it. This is karma, really, because I made fun of my mom when she was looking for a cell phone and she said all she wanted was to be able to take and receive calls. She doesn’t use the Internet on her phone, I just taught her about GIFs, but I understand it now.
I have seen commercials for some of the touch screen laptops and how people in certain job fields use them and it makes sense, but not for me. I finally found a simple one that I was instantly drawn to as I passed by the laptops in Target. As we walked past electronics I stopped and turned to see a plain, white laptop. No touch screen. No small keyboard. No bells or whistles. It was simply perfect and it felt like it was calling to me, begging for me to take it home and make new memories on it, just like I did with this one.
I guess it’s out with the old and in with the new, except now it’s out with the 20s and in with the 30s while I stubbornly refuse to accept new technology.
Maybe I will write a best seller on the new laptop. Maybe it will just be home to dozens of documents that will never see the light of day, but will forever hold relics of my years through stories that paralleled my life. Either way, I’m slamming forward with new starts, a new laptop, a new age bracket, and the same amount of love and passion for writing that I have had since I was a child.
I hope you all stick around to see what my thirties hold. I can’t guarantee it will be pretty, but I’m quite sure with a toddler there will be enough hilarious and gross stories to keep you laughing; if you don’t feel like laughing, ask your computer. I’m pretty sure they convey emotions now when asked verbally. Try it and let me know how it goes!