If you have spent time on any parenting or mom sites or forums/ boards you have heard about women like me. We are not common. We are a rarity, especially lately, it seems. We are all most unheard of and our numbers are dwindling rapidly.
I am a unicorn. I am the one who, for the vast majority of the time, tries to keep the peace. I seek and find a positive trait about everyone. I like people. I do. I can be found commenting nice things on posts. I try to help everyone with anything that I can. My friends come to me with issues because I tiptoe around words and delicately phrase things so they land softly when told. I know a lot of people, and I am friends with several of them, that believe in being blunt when speaking even if it is harsh.
There are ways to say things nicely but still get your point across and I believe that it is a waning art form. Everyone speaks their mind with no regard for the impact that it can leave on others, whether it is real life or on a site that is designed for support but somehow forms cliques that could rival The Plastics. Some situations will always need brutal honesty, but it seems to be more frequently than not that things are handled with no regard towards the person receiving the message.
If someone doesn’t look good in a bathing suit there are ways to say it that won’t destroy that persons day or image of themselves. As unfortunate as it is, people tend to remember negative words more than positive ones. You can be told you are pretty a thousand times but the one time you are told you are ugly will be remembered. Replace pretty with any situation. If a mom is told over and over again that she is an amazing mother but encounters someone who says that she is a terrible mother, than that will always stick out. I know some people can push things like that aside but I never could.
I never wanted to be responsible for making someone feel bad. I know how that feels. I know what being bullied is like and how on my worst days I think that everyone that said I wasn’t good enough was probably right.
Mommy wars are at an all time high. No one will agree on anything ever. It doesn’t matter how you feel or how long you fight or how poignantly written your words are. It doesn’t matter if you have heaps of scientific studies. There will always be a natural divide. There will always be the people in the comment section picking things apart viciously, just like there will be the person who finds something beautiful about the exact same thing.
So let’s start building each other up again. Let’s remember that even though each of us is different, we are all trying to make it through this parenting thing together; and let’s face it, parenting can be a war zone some days. On the days where kisses and giggles turn into RPG (rank poop gas) and IED s(“I Eat Dirt?”) and you feel this close to crying, remember that you aren’t in it alone. We will pick you up.
I know that I sound like the girl in Mean Girls who says, “I wish we could all get along like we used to in Middle School. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy “
You would be right (slides a pretend piece of cake to you.) Eat up!