She is there for me day in and day out. She knows my secrets, my hopes and fears. She is around to celebrate my achievements and is there to remind me that I will be all right after a crushing defeat. On days where I feel like giving up, she reminds me of everything I have gone through and sends pictures and silly texts to get me through.
She has her own family and life and is busy but is there for me without fail. She is my best friend and she lives on the other side of the country. All of these statements ring true to a few women in my life who are always there for me. They are all further than a twenty-hour drive from me and our friendships exists solely through phone conversations and presents we mail each other.
Dating sites have been popular for as long as I can remember. There are commercials galore, advertisements all over the Internet and that is the first thing that friends suggest lately after a long string of failed attempts at dating. “Sure, Brian was an asshole but have you tried a dating site? Maybe you will find true love there?”
There are horror stories, of course, about online dating but also successes and fairytale stories of how they met, married and are living happily ever after.
I met my best friends, B, E, and M on a Web site that is for expecting mothers and mothers. The site/ app has a message board forum where you can join different groups that you identify with such as your expected due date (moms expecting July 2016 join here!) or groups for women who are trying to conceive.
Random boards are interlaced throughout all of those different subjects. I ended up falling into a “clique” for lack of a better word. We were all close. Everyone on the site knew that we were all close, and anyone that joined figured it out quickly. After months of talking with a few women and knowing them pretty well, I private messaged them and asked if they would like to trade phone numbers.
I deleted my account off of the site after it became more like Mean Girls than it did anything else. What I did bring away from it is having a baby, delivering, and the after math of delivering isn’t easy. Start to finish having a baby is tough and you need someone, in some capacity, to be there for you.
At that point in my life when I was pregnant, I really needed a friend but didn’t have any around me who could relate to being pregnant so I joined the board and found out that I had struck gold. I was not alone. There were others out there like me who was looking for a friend who could relate to their struggles.
This also works out so well for me because of my anxiety. I love having friends but get anxious with all of the planning and keeping up. Or if I will say something wrong and then they’ll think I just make things awkward and, anyways, let’s stop inviting her.
My friendships take place in different states throughout the country, but I can honestly say they are some of the best friends that I have ever had. So let’s give it up to an unsung hero: the best friend you met online.
If you ever feel lonely, or swamped with a million things to do and you think ‘man I wish I had someone who got this.’ Go out there and find her. Join mom sites that have boards. Join conversations and get in on jokes. Chances are you will be fine and you will find a woman that someday you will realize that you can’t do without her, even if venting over a glass of wine is just complaining and sending a wine emoji, you won’t be alone.